Chatroulette for the win forever so many joshuazzzz

is that this guys a real ladies man.  

I want him to pick me up for a date in his rolly backpack. I guess.

Thanks Han!

Happy New Yearz, yall.  It’s the year I’m going to get famous for talking shit about a haircut/lifestyle.

This guy was apparently on Lost? Or so said the person who sent me this gem.  *****shiny silk button up****** I don’t know I never watched that show because I literally never watch any show that isn’t about teenagers. Except for Mad Men, but that’s for the clothes and Don Draper. Another post for another day, my frienz.

that this was even a thing. But now that I know about it, it will never ever ever leave my mind.  

I’m so uncomfortable looking at this, and I’m very serious.  I never want to meet these people, I don’t know if they’re juggalos or what but I’m shocked and uncomfortable about the sheer number.  This is not one person, this is four people. That know eachother. They see this on eachother, and think it’s alright.  What are they saying with their hands?  I personally read “::middle finger:: xo xo ::middle finger::” and it seems like a mixed message. 

And ya’ll, I’m being serious.  This makes makes me physically ill. FACT: I have an irrational fear of being in elevators with strangers, and this is literally the same feeling I get when I step into an elevator with a creepy serial killer-esque white middle age man that doesn’t blink and breaths loudly.  It’s not just the hair, it’s the fact that I can’t decide if they are midwestern or not.  It’s the feeling I have that even though this picture is probably really old, at least one of these people has most likely racked up at least one sexual assault charge by now.  I know that writing this stuff gives me bad karma, but I have to say it.  I’m typing this with the text box scrolled down so I can’t see their faces.  The one on the bottom right barely wins for most creepy, but if you look in any of their eyes you feel really rapey.  I mean that in the most pc way possible.

NOTE: do NOT overlook the jewelry.

it’s almost like this…. 

but this isn’t even technically a joshua because it’s more of a mall hair ponytail/whiteboy braids hybrid.  And we know that it’s not his fault because he never really found the right thing for his hair, but he looks almost more normalish now:

 ******NOT THAT CHIRS KIRKPATRICK NEVER HAD JOSHUA HAIR BECAUSE HE DID********

“SUP?”

EDIT: a reward goes out to anyone who can make this post go viral/find these guys so that I can see recent pictures of them NOT having joshua braids and ease my mind.  And I ain’t got no money so I’ll make a monthly payment to the winner of $5.99 per month until I die.

Edit 2: There should be fortune cookies that say “Are you a caucasian male who is not named Willie Nelson? No? Then don’t have braids you fucking idiot.”

Edit 3” Texts from Bennett is fake as hell and if you think it’s real you need to holler at some common sense.

EDIT 4: kriss kross?

little tiny baby frien joshua who apparently has a famous tumblr.

my cat wearing christmas pajamas

But….

Joshua hair————————-><————————-Joshua teeth

Another foreign correspondent, Hannah Larter, has just sent me this gem.  Taken in Spain, of a Canadian.  Joshuas everywhere all the time.  

I have no idea who this is.  Because he looks like every other modern day Hollywood Joshua, and I don’t know who any of them are.  He’s probably on a WB show playing a cool dad or something, but he obviously shaves his chest and gets highlights.  It also appears that he may or may not have a tribal tattoo on his chest.  On whatever show he’s on, I bet he plays someone who surfs in his free time, but is also successful in his dream career and raises an emaciated teenager played by a canadian actor. This also might be the guy who married Nicole Kidman? Or maybe he’s in Rascal Lady Flats Antebellum? He might also be from a band from the 80s or something because a lot of hair metal dudes trim down to a joshua. I’ll update again when I know.

It’s perfect timing for me to make my big comeback with this shit BE BE BE BECAUSE… I just found THIS gem on my computer.  Thank god for my friends.  So supportive.