Joshua Hair

i resurrect this blog to share the biggest joshua hair fuck up of TV history. brutal.

…..AAAaaaand it’s gone.

yikes.

SO now that I’ve updated this thing 4 times? i dont remember if it was 4 or 3, still too lazy to check, I’m kind of into it again and after going through my files I have a few very important articles to write, so i might update more.  

*****COMING SOON TO JOSHUA HAIR BLOG*****

"The Men of The Baby Sitters Club Film: The first time I eva loved 2 Joshuaz @ once"

"Degrassi (the next generation): Every male character had Joshua hair at one point except for Drake and the other 2 black guys that had speaking roles"

"N’Sync: Why do I feel uncomfortable Looking at group shots of full grown men in themed outfits?" "Especially if they’re tied up with rope?"

and more stuff about like David Beckham, gothshuas, and more people i know who are Joshuas or whatever

I think I just got my first str8 up BONER

~-~*DreAm BoY*~-~

A Shoutout to Tom

Yo Joshua Tom Cruise, real sorry about your divorce maybe if you weren’t such a psychotic abusive train wreck, you wouldn’t be such a lonely scientologist freak?  But yo, props to your genes because Suri is my style icon. 

Hey y’all

So, i haven’t updated this in like 5 months, and i would tell you I was busy, but I wasn’t.  Actually I was, but not doing anything productive.  What was I doing you ask?  You didn’t ask that, because you are probably one of my facebook friends and you know full well that all I was doing was being a whiskey party princess and yelling in public.  Now, just because I don’t update this shit, doesn’t mean I don’t collect material pretty much all da damn time.  So, I’m just going to unload a bunch of serious Joshuas on your ass right quick:

(don’t get mad if they are re-runs, i’m too lazy to update this blog, so yeah.. i’m too lazy to go back and see what I’ve posted.

1.

nice track suit, f****t.  I didn’t say it out loud, and I think it really applies to this situation, so don’t get p.c. on me or whatever.

2.

This one reminds me of this kid I went to middle school with, who had a gross 30 year old cousin who worked at the cell phone kiosk at the mall that I used to harass. They would probably both be juggalos, if Chapel Hill/Carrboro had juggalos.  They don’t, which really sorta sucks but whatever.

3.

I don’t remember EVER seeing this before, which sort of creeps me out, especially since the reflection of the person taking the picture could really be me right now.

4.

That awkward moment when that meme is wrong as fuck, because ron weasley is still the hottest no matta what and has a GINGER JOSHUA

5.

This is the kind of picture of a Joshua that makes me think “Hmm, wonder if this Joshua is dead because he looks like he is straight up medically giant and maybe his giant Joshua heart fucking gave out on him while he was playing basketball on a team that only loved him for being a giant tall player that could dunk standing on the ground and now hes in heaven with Andre the giant.”  He may have been (maybe still be?) normal height, but I doubt it whatever.

So thats 5.

Chatroulette for the win forever so many joshuazzzz

Chatroulette for the win forever so many joshuazzzz

Word on the street…

is that this guys a real ladies man.  

I want him to pick me up for a date in his rolly backpack. I guess.

Thanks Han!

A View From Behind

Happy New Yearz, yall.  It’s the year I’m going to get famous for talking shit about a haircut/lifestyle.

Lost Joshua

This guy was apparently on Lost? Or so said the person who sent me this gem.  *****shiny silk button up****** I don’t know I never watched that show because I literally never watch any show that isn’t about teenagers. Except for Mad Men, but that’s for the clothes and Don Draper. Another post for another day, my frienz.

I never even knew??

that this was even a thing. But now that I know about it, it will never ever ever leave my mind.  

I’m so uncomfortable looking at this, and I’m very serious.  I never want to meet these people, I don’t know if they’re juggalos or what but I’m shocked and uncomfortable about the sheer number.  This is not one person, this is four people. That know eachother. They see this on eachother, and think it’s alright.  What are they saying with their hands?  I personally read “::middle finger:: xo xo ::middle finger::” and it seems like a mixed message. 

And ya’ll, I’m being serious.  This makes makes me physically ill. FACT: I have an irrational fear of being in elevators with strangers, and this is literally the same feeling I get when I step into an elevator with a creepy serial killer-esque white middle age man that doesn’t blink and breaths loudly.  It’s not just the hair, it’s the fact that I can’t decide if they are midwestern or not.  It’s the feeling I have that even though this picture is probably really old, at least one of these people has most likely racked up at least one sexual assault charge by now.  I know that writing this stuff gives me bad karma, but I have to say it.  I’m typing this with the text box scrolled down so I can’t see their faces.  The one on the bottom right barely wins for most creepy, but if you look in any of their eyes you feel really rapey.  I mean that in the most pc way possible.

NOTE: do NOT overlook the jewelry.

it’s almost like this…. 

but this isn’t even technically a joshua because it’s more of a mall hair ponytail/whiteboy braids hybrid.  And we know that it’s not his fault because he never really found the right thing for his hair, but he looks almost more normalish now:

 ******NOT THAT CHIRS KIRKPATRICK NEVER HAD JOSHUA HAIR BECAUSE HE DID********

"SUP?"

EDIT: a reward goes out to anyone who can make this post go viral/find these guys so that I can see recent pictures of them NOT having joshua braids and ease my mind.  And I ain’t got no money so I’ll make a monthly payment to the winner of $5.99 per month until I die.

Edit 2: There should be fortune cookies that say “Are you a caucasian male who is not named Willie Nelson? No? Then don’t have braids you fucking idiot.”

Edit 3” Texts from Bennett is fake as hell and if you think it’s real you need to holler at some common sense.

EDIT 4: kriss kross?